To My Fellow Millennial Women: Not Married Yet? Get Over It

millennial women tired

The first couple times I saw one of these little witty remarks on someecards, I thought it was hilarious. You know, because I was 22 and it seemed like everyone really was getting married while I was at the bar crying to the bathroom attendant about my life. But, four years later, this whole concept of millennial women shaming other millennials who are getting married or the self-deprecating “humor” about being single at 25 (God Forbid!) is straight-up exasperating.

The other day, I received a message from a friend who told me she felt depressed because one of her good friends had just gotten engaged while she still had “zero prospects for marriage.” I wanted to comfort her, but I was at a loss for words.

Girlfriend, get your shit together.

Look, we’re human–I understand we can’t always control how we feel. (Admittedly, sometimes, when I have relationship issues, I convince myself I’m going to die alone while eating cat treats.) But we need to get over this feeling of competition when it comes to life’s big milestones. If it weren’t for social media, we would have zero idea what 98% of the girls from college are up to on a daily basis. Millennials use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, et al. as a benchmark for milestones, and it’s time to stop it.

To my fellow millennial ladies, focus on your career, staying healthy, and personal improvement. This is your life. The more time you spend focusing on what Rachel J. and Annie M. from your sorority are up to, the less time you’re spending on yourself.

At the end of the day, just remember that your time will come, too. It might come sooner than you think. (Don’t believe me? Just watch an episode of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” You’re welcome.)