My fellow millennials – listen up. I don’t care if you’re from NYC, Cincinnati or middle-of-nowhere Arkansas. I don’t care if you’re a lady, dude or you don’t identify with either gender. I don’t care if you’re black, white, Asian, Jewish, Buddhist, or purple. I don’t care if you’re heterosexual or LGBTQ+.
If you are, however, single, and on some sort of online dating platform, I need you to take 10 minutes from playing Pokemon Go and read this. It’s very important.
If you stumble across a human being you would like to mate with, and you ask them out on a date and suggest a specific activity/location, I have some news for you: You offer to pay the entire bill at the end of said date.
A splendid thing happened for me on Saturday afternoon, friends. I met Patti Stanger (better known to some as the Millionaire Matchmaker), one of my lifestyle idols. Patti, along with a panel of relationship and sex experts, presented the findings of Match.com’s 2014 Singles in America study.
Although the survey was completed by daters of all ages, I feel the results and Saturday’s panel discussion broached topics that really hit home for millennials who are out there dating.
The first couple times I saw one of these little witty remarks on someecards, I thought it was hilarious. You know, because I was 22 and it seemed like everyone really was getting married while I was at the bar crying to the bathroom attendant about my life. But, four years later, this whole concept of millennial women shaming other millennials who are getting married or the self-deprecating “humor” about being single at 25 (God Forbid!) is straight-up exasperating.
The other day, I received a message from a friend who told me she felt depressed because one of her good friends had just gotten engaged while she still had “zero prospects for marriage.” I wanted to comfort her, but I was at a loss for words.
Girlfriend, get your shit together.
Look, we’re human–I understand we can’t always control how we feel. (Admittedly, sometimes, when I have relationship issues, I convince myself I’m going to die alone while eating cat treats.) But we need to get over this feeling of competition when it comes to life’s big milestones. If it weren’t for social media, we would have zero idea what 98% of the girls from college are up to on a daily basis. Millennials use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, et al. as a benchmark for milestones, and it’s time to stop it.
To my fellow millennial ladies, focus on your career, staying healthy, and personal improvement. This is your life. The more time you spend focusing on what Rachel J. and Annie M. from your sorority are up to, the less time you’re spending on yourself.
At the end of the day, just remember that your time will come, too. It might come sooner than you think. (Don’t believe me? Just watch an episode of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” You’re welcome.)